Our support group meetings are the foundation and most important part of our program. They provide opportunities for parents to openly discuss their thoughts and feelings with others who have had similar experiences.

Our monthly meetings give each participant the ability to share and discuss their experiences and concerns. A trained parent volunteer leads the group. Anyone is welcome. We encourage all group members to be respectful of each other’s thoughts and feelings, and advise all participants that everything said at the group meetings is confidential and shall not be discussed outside the meeting.

We encourage you to participate in our support group meetings. We believe the experience will be beneficial and it will help you understand that you are not alone. There are other parents who can relate and understand your grief.

Refer to the general support group schedule as well as the calendar of events for exact dates and times.

What You Can Expect at a P.S. Support Group

First off, we are so sorry you have a need to attend a support group for the loss of your baby. Every P.S. Support Group is a little different, but many things are constant. All P.S. facilitators have experienced losses of their own. In my three years as a facilitator, every single group has been filled with caring and compassionate people. We welcome many combinations of people in mourning. Couples attend, moms and dads on their own, a grandmother or friend may attend with a parent to offer additional support. Sometimes people wonder, given their situation, if they are welcome…same sex couples, parents who have had to make the horrible “choice” of ending a pregnancy, mothers who have had a D and C. Please know if you are grieving the loss of your baby, you are welcome. However, this is not a place for young children. Adults only, please. Here are a few other things you can expect:

• The facilitator will hand out new Welcome Packets (full of resources, articles, poems, etc.) and have everyone sign in. (We report to the hospital how many people attend since they are donating the space.) After a general welcome, the facilitator/s will begin by sharing the story of their child/children. Thereafter everyone is encouraged to share their story, but it’s not required. This usually takes about 5-10 minutes per person. If the group is large (10-12 people), there may only be time for everyone to tell their story. If the group is smaller, everyone can share more. Sometimes, someone needs help with how to deal with a family member, doesn’t know how spend a holiday, or wants to decide what to do with their baby’s clothes so we’ll talk about ideas to help each other. There are certain topics I always like to touch on such as guilt, physical symptoms of grief, family dynamics, how women and men grieve differently, and how it is of utmost importance to follow your heart. Grieve the way you need to grieve-not how someone else thinks you should. If one topic is of particular interest, we talk about it in more depth.
• Each P.S. facilitator has a library which you are welcome to borrow books from. We just ask you return them at the next meeting. If you would like to donate a book, we’ll be happy to add it to the library.
• I always tell my group members I’d rather they come late or leave early than not come at all. It’s okay to bring dinner or answer an important phone call if that means you can attend.
• It’s also okay for you to attend more than one group a month or switch groups. Some facilitators will just click with you, and if one doesn’t, then try another group. We just want you to find support; even if that means it’s not with us.
• If you would like to bring a memento or picture of your baby, please do. We’d love to see your sweet baby or some-thing that reminds you of him or her. My Caroline was born at 19 weeks gestation, and I bring her little photobook to each meeting I facilitate.
• It’s okay to be different. Some parents name their babies, some do not. Sometimes people don’t know if their baby was a boy or girl but they choose a name anyway-Raspberry, Bumblebee, etc. Whether it’s a name or some-thing else that you have chosen to do differently than others, it’s okay. Everyone should do what feels right for them. You will not be judged.
• You do not have to tell us you are coming to group, but it does help—especially since you will be new. I like to warn people that the Overlake group is located in the bottom of the Women’s Center. It’s the same parking area as Labor and Delivery, but it’s a floor of meeting rooms and doesn’t look like the hospital. I also have directions to our meeting room at Overlake that cannot be found online.
• Parents who attend meetings regularly often build a friendship…which we encourage. It’s why we are named Parent Support. The facilitators are really there just to facilitate. You will gain so much from hearing everyone else share their stories as well. Many long-lasting friendships have been formed through group. As you know by now, if you aren’t in this club it can be difficult if not impossible for outsiders to understand what we are going through when we grieve our babies. There is a great sense of comfort that comes from knowing people really understand your heartache.

I hope this gives you some insight into what our groups can look like. If you have further questions you can contact the facilitator of the group you are interested in attending.

Cami Carris
Mother of Caroline and Courtney
P.S. Facilitator Coordinator and Eastside Support Group Facilitator